A Selfish Little Check-In With My Short Fust

I have a short fuse. Always have, always will—at least, that’s the excuse I used to love tossing around. “It’s just who I am!” Insert dramatic shrug. But I don’t have to be this way. None of us do.

Here’s a recent scenario for you: I’m in a store, sniffing perfume testers. I say “Sorry” as I lean past someone, and they don’t even blink, nod, or acknowledge my existence. Cue my inner rage. How dare they?! Except... I’ve been that person too—lost in my own head, wearing my mood on my face like a "Do Not Disturb" sign.

You’re not alone. Maybe you think your quick temper is just part of your DNA. Maybe it’s a family thing (shoutout to all the loud, passionate households out there). Or maybe it’s those button-pushing, boundary-testing humans in your life who should really know better by now. But guess what? Doesn’t matter. Because that temper of yours? Yeah, it’s wreaking havoc not just on others, but on you.

Uncontrolled anger is a vibe killer. It messes with your relationships and your mental health.

Here’s a new strategy I learned (and yes, I’m totally talking to myself here):

1. Check in with yourself. Seriously. Pause and ask, “Hey self, how are you doing today?” Maybe you’re hungry, tired, or just annoyed that someone used the last of the coffee creamer.

2. Don’t play the blame game. It’s so tempting, right? But pointing fingers doesn’t solve anything—it just adds fuel to the fire.

3. Reframe the narrative. Your brain will scream, “If you don’t snap back, you’re letting them win!” But let me tell you something: calming down is not weakness. It’s strength. It’s you saying, “I’m in charge of me.”

   
   

Now, let’s talk about breathing. (Yes, I mean literally.) Because here’s my confession: I have a terrible habit of letting words fly out of my mouth before my brain has even clocked in for the day. Zero filter. Full send. And while it can be funny in hindsight, it’s not exactly winning me any “Most Graceful” awards.

Here’s what I’m learning to do instead:

• Take a deep breath. Sounds basic, but there’s science behind it. That breath? It creates a tiny pause, a sliver of time where your brain can catch up to your mouth. Inhale, exhale, then speak. It’s like hitting “save” before you close the file—saves you a world of trouble.

• Ask yourself: Does this need to be said right now? Sometimes, the answer is “Nope!” A little delay can turn a potential explosion into a moment of clarity.

• Practice the pause. I’m not saying it’s easy, but I’ve started counting to three in my head when I feel the words bubbling up. Three seconds feels like forever, but it’s enough to shift gears before I drive off an emotional cliff.

And here’s the thing: this isn’t about silencing yourself or becoming some zen robot who never speaks their mind. It’s about choosing how and when to share your thoughts so they land with impact instead of combustion.

Look, I’m not a fix-all. This isn’t some magical formula that erases your temper or filters your words. I’m here to talk about the hard stuff, to empathize with you, and to remind you that you’re not alone. Life is messy, and so are we. But catching yourself in those messy moments? That’s where the magic happens.

This little love letter to self-control? Totally selfish. I just had a heated conversation with my husband, and writing this is my way of hitting the emotional reset button. Guess what? It worked. (And yes, I’ll probably make him read this later.)

So, here’s to catching ourselves before we hit a full-blown rage spiral. Take that breath. Calm that storm.